Life's Simple Pleasures

I think that life's simple pleasures are what really get us through the tough spots in life (although therapists and pharmaceutical companies like to take all the credit!)  Best of all ... they're free!

 

Here are a few of mine:

 

The smell of coffee brewing first thing in the morning.

Watching the sprinkler system water my lawn.

Daffodils blooming in the spring.

Infants smiling in their sleep.

The first sip of really cold iced tea on a hot summer day.

Autumn leaves.  Especially the red ones.

Snowflakes falling in the middle of the night.

Christmas lights twinkling inside the windows of my house on Christmas Eve.

The Free Massage my hospital gives out on Nurses Appreciation Day once a year.

And mostly ... Taking a walk with my 5 year old grandson and listening to him describe his observations.

 

Bliss!

House Broken

I've been having a tumultuous affair with my house ever since I bought it two years ago.  Looking back on it now I have to admit it was love at first sight.  From the minute I stepped in the front door I dreamed of living there and could hardly wait to move in.  I fantasized about the times we would share together.  Family barbeques in the back yard.  Singing Christmas Carols around the tree.  Sitting out on the front step watching the sprinkler system water the lawn.  As my passion for the house grew stronger, I fantasized about taking a bubble bath in the soaking tub.  It seemed I was filled with wild abandon.

 

Friends and family warned me that it was too expensive.  That the lawn was too much for me to keep up.  They said it was too big for a single woman.  I closed my ears and paid no attention to their advice. They just didn't understand.  The more they tried to keep us apart, the more I rebelled.  I snuck away to see it whenever I got the chance.  I finally decided I was going to live there no matter what.

 

I got a mortgage and moved in.  The first summer was bliss.  The house more than fulfilled my expectations.  I'd come home from work and find flowers blooming.  The ice maker on the refrigerator door made more ice then I could possibly use.  And I could have it CRUSHED if I wanted!   I felt safe knowing the security system was watching over me while I slept.  Yes, I thought I'd be happy there forever.

 

Then... little by little the house started to turn on me.  Weeds grew in the flower beds.  The lush green lawn turned brown and looked lifeless.  The refrigerator broke and needed a very expensive part.  And sadly, I discovered that my family was right.  the house WAS too expensive for me.   Every dime I had went into the house.

 

No matter how much I tried... it was never good enough.  I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but one night, my house key actually broke off in the door, and I was left shivering alone in the cold.

 

I gave up hope a couple of times and even threatened to sell it.  Everything would be alright for awhile and then something else would happen.  The garage door jammed one day and when I tried to close it, the frame buckled.  I grew suspicious at every creak.

 

I lived in constant fear that something awful  was about to happen.  Money was tight and I was existing on Acme Frozen Entrees.  I couldn't afford Lean Cuisine anymore.  It got pretty bad but I was determined not to become a victim of foreclosure.  I even tried financial counseling.

 

One night I came home early from work and found the powder room toilet leaking.  I stood there frozen in shock.  The tank was completely empty and the floor around the base.... well, let's just say it was warped and ruined.   I shouted obscenities and even threatened to burn the house down.  Thank God my kids weren't there to witness the ugliness that night. 

 

I can't take it anymore.  I've decided to end it while I still have my sanity.  I've put the house up for sale.  We'll sign the papers and probably never see each other again. 

 

Like so many others, I am left heart broken.  I don't think I'll ever love another house like this one.  I've glanced at one or two when I drove by and saw a FOR SALE sign on the lawn, but then the bitter memories of owning this one came flooding back.

 

No... I'll never be the same.  I'll just live out the rest of my days in a condo.  Where I don't have to cut the grass or shovel the snow.  I'm sure it will be smaller and have much less storage space, and I may not ever have my own bathroom or walk in closet again, but I don't care.  I'm hurt and bitter.

 

Maybe someday I'll be able to forget this house.  In time I might even be able to look at photographs of it and not cry.

 

Who knows?  With therapy and medication, anything is possible.

Introducing my New Grandson!

              

Although he seemed to have taken the scenic route, my new little Grandson is finally here.  He checked in on July 3 at 10: 45 PM .  

My daughter-in-law was such a Trooper!  It took almost 24 hours of labor and finally a C-Section to bring all nine pounds, one ounce of him in!  And just for the record, he was 22 inches long!

His name is Joseph Thomas ... named after both Grandfathers. 

And now, without further ado...  here's my new Grand-baby!

  I'm proud to say that my son was extremely supportive during Bonnie's labor which lasted almost 24 hours.  And he held her hand all through the subsequent C-Section.

 Bonnie's mother and I were able to come back and visit whenever we wanted.

  We did our best to keep her spirits up.

  Mostly, we waited and waited...

 ... and waited!

  Finally at 10:45 PM he was delivered.  All 9 pounds, 1 ounce of him!

  It was hard to believe that my youngest child now had a new baby of his own.  Joe was absolutely beaming with pride!  I will always cherish that memory.  I've never seen him more happy or excited! 

  I couldn't help but wonder who this little boy was, and who he would become.  I knew that although he was new to me, soon I wouldn't remember ever being without him in my life.

  My son now has his very own family.  He'll continue many traditions he learned from me and his father, and many that Bonnie learned from her family.  And they'll no doubt start new ones of their own.

 Their lives will never be the same.  This tiny baby will change everything.  But he will bring them happiness and joy beyond their wildest expectations.  And they will never regret it.

 He'll always have his Aunt Lee Lee to watch over him and make him laugh.

 And he'll always have a Grammy that loves him with all her heart!

Welcome to the world, Joseph Thomas!

 

 

 

 

Procrastination

I took today off from work.  My son and his wife are expecting my second grandson any day now, and I had a feeling that it would be today.  Hopefully, they will cooperate.

 

While I'm waiting for the news that she's in labor, it's nice to know I have the whole day ahead of me.  There's something special about a day that was supposed to be used doing something else.  Like working.  Especially one where you have no appointments and no real reason for being home.  I could do just about anything today and Lord knows I have a pile of things that need to be done. 

 

The question is... where to start?  The possibilities are endless.  I sit here bursting with anticipation and excitement.  Home alone, there is absolutely nothing to distract me or interfere in my progress.  I feel a sense of power.  Impending accomplishment.  Since I don't get to feel this way very often, I'm savoring the moment.  I bet there are a lot of people out there envying me.  Wishing they were in my shoes.  Knowing what they would do if an opportunity like mine were to present itself.  Yes... I am one lucky girl.  I can hardly wait to get started. 

 

But, planning is everything.  I shouldn't waste a day like today on something menial or insignificant.  I'll hate myself tonight if I don't  accomplish something important.

 

But where should I start?  A List.  I should make a list of all the things I'd like to do.  Then I'll number them in the order of their importance, taking into consideration the amount of time it would take to complete each project.  Perhaps I should also include the degree of satisfaction I'll enjoy knowing that the task was accomplished.  I have plenty of time to make an exhaustive and through soul searching list.  I will put down all the things that have been eating away at me for months.  Yes, I will sleep better tonight knowing how many tasks I completed today.

 

I am not going to waste a single second.  I won't do anything that could be done on an ordinary weekend.  This is too special a day to squander  recklessly.  I could start at Ground Zero, but I feel bold today.  I can sort through the piles of bills and mail on my computer desk anytime.  Not today.

 

No sense washing the windows since it's raining.  Same theory applies to washing the car and weeding the garden.  Thank goodness.  I've been meaning to power wash the vinyl siding on my house, but I don't own a power washer.  I could always tackle the clutter in the attic, but it's way too hot for that.  Better save that job until October.  I have plenty of time to organize the basement, but the fluorescent light down there blew last week and how much can I expect to do in the dark?  Dusting and vacuuming are much too mundane to do on my Special Day.  I would end up feeling ashamed and full of regret.  I could sort though all my old photographs and put them into an album.  That's something I've been wanting to do for years, and it would certainly give me a great sense of satisfaction.  But a project of such monumental proportions would take much more time than one day would permit, so I better save it for when I have a Special Week.  Of course, I doubt that I will ever have an entire week off from work where I don't have any plans.  But you never know.  I could get hurt... and have to take a month off to recover.  I see it happen to other employees all the time.  Yes.    It's not a matter of IF... it's a matter of when.  So when I hurt myself on the job, I will definitely sort through all of my old photographs.  It's good to know that I won't be lying on the couch wondering what to do with myself if I sprain an ankle.  Ihave a PLAN.

 

But what to do today?  Surely there must be something I can put on The List.  I already cleared out my Spam Folder, and indulged in some pretty profound deep thinking this week (see previous posts).

 

I have to bear in my mind that my daughter-in-law may go into labor at any minute.  So if I start a big project, I may have to stop right in the middle of it and head over to the hospital.  The only thing worse than  an un-started project is a half completed one.  I've heard stories about people whose very lives were ruined by unfinished jobs.  No... I can't take that chance.  Hmmmmmm.... 

 

On the other hand, I can't sit around all day on the computer, wandering aimlessly from one web site to another.  Browsing through exotic vacations I can't afford to take, researching rare illnesses I'll probably never get, and entering contests I'll never win.  Then again, life is funny.  You never know when something odd might happen.  I hate being unprepared.  Somebody has to win the contest.  Odds are that sooner or later it will be me.  Should I just give up and not enter them anymore?  How pessimistic is that?  And if I did win, wouldn't it be nice to already know where I want to go on vacation?  And what if... the pain I've  always had in my right wrist really ISN'T tendonitis?  What if it's a symptom of something more... sinister?  Perhaps it could be a condition that if caught early, might be survivable?  Now THERE'S a worthwhile cause.  Saving my own life!  What's the sense in planning projects if I'm DYING? 

 

I'm glad I thought this through!  Thank God I took today off!  This  might take all afternoon!

 

I better get to it... I'm not one to procrastinate! 

Today

Sitting here petting one of my cats on this hot, lazy afternoon I realize that this is anything but an ordinary day for a lot of other people in the world.  This one day will change their entire lives... forever.

 

Someone will be diagnosed with cancer.  Somebody will be killed in an automobile accident.  A young man will contract HIV.  Someone will be fired from their job.  A teenage girl will get pregnant.  Somewhere a wife will find out that her husband is cheating on her.  A teenager will run away from home.    A family will watch their house burn down.  A child's puppy will be struck by a car.  A soldier will be killed.  A boy will have his heart broken. Someone will lose their last dollar in a casino.  A man will hold his wife's hand in the Intensive Care Unit for the last time.  A grocery store clerk will be held up at gun point.  A young woman will miscarry.    A man will say goodbye to the grandfather who raised him.   A child will be abducted.  Somewhere, a heroin addict will overdose for the last time.   An angry man will murder his wife.   A woman will find a lump in her breast.  A man will be sentenced to prison for the rest of his life.   A drunk will pick up his car keys.   

 

All these things are happening to people just like me... somewhere in the world. 

 

Right now.  This very minute.  While I sit here and pet my cat. 

 

I am stunned.  Desperately searching for some glimmer of hope I realize that on this very same day...

 

A baby will be born.  A young couple will get married.  A lost kitten will be found.  Proud parents will watch their youngest child graduate from high school.  Someone will get a promotion.  Another will win the lottery.  A teenage boy will buy his first car.  A young woman will discover that after years of trying, she's finally pregnant.  A doctor will tell a worried family that the operation was a success.  A young woman will have flowers delivered to her door.  Two childhood friends will take off on a trip to Greece.  A singer will have a #1 hit.  A child will be returned to his mother.  A mortgage application will be approved.  A dentist will inform a 5 year old that he doesn't have any cavities, and a 10th grade girl will be asked to the prom. 

 

All this will happen on a most ordinary day.... today.

 

And then I realize....

 

That I must have WAY too much time on my hands.

You've Got Mail!

I'm going to take a break from Menopausal Exploration today and get back to reality.  Catch up on the important things that I've been letting go.  Before I tackle the Kitty Litter Boxes in the basement I better check my E-mail.

 

Whoa!  I bet I must be close to my limit!  No telling who's been trying to contact me the past few weeks. 

 

"10 Tips For a Summer Body."  The only way that I could salvage something for this year would be to pay someone to impersonate me until September.  But that's an idea for another day. 

 

"Limited Quantity- Everything Under $20".  As if.

 

5 ads for computer games.  NOT interested.  I only play one.  Pirate Poppers.  I'm addicted and I'm loyal.  I'm just a one-computer-game kinda woman.  Delete. 

 

"Investment Opportunities"... I guess they're assuming that I have some extra cash lying around collecting dust.  Delete.

 

Oh goody.  Seems I won an "International Lottery."  Maybe I shouldn't have deleted that Investment Opportunity Ad after all.   Delete.

 

Okay.... Oh!  The "Ex-Vice President Of Ugwanda" wants to entrust ME with the millions of dollars he abducted with.  All I have to do is open a bank account for him.  Yeah, right.  I may have been tempted in the past, but I'm a Lottery Winner now.  Delete.

 

Here we go.  "My Latest Matches on Yahoo."  Good grief!  He should have come with a Warning Label.  Oh My God!  This one only lives 2 miles away?  Bet I could get his  exact address if I looked up Registered Sex Offenders.  Hmmm....  If "Ready N' Rarin" is only 53 years old he must have lived one HELL of a life.  Sigh!  After all these years I'm still hoping to find a man who's looking for someone to leave all his money to, with no strings attached.  I know.  I'm just a hopeless romantic.  Delete.

 

This is interesting.  Someone signed my Guest Book at Classmates.com.  But if I want to see who it was, I have to become a Member.  I wonder who it was?  A long, lost childhood friend?  Someone long forgotten who may very well change the very course of my life if I were to contact him?  Delete. 

 

"Stop Prairie Dogs From Being Poisoned!"  You gotta be kidding me.  The only thing I'm looking for is a cure for hot flashes.  Sorry, but Prairie Dogs are pretty far down on my list of things to save.

 

"Cruise Deals on Vacations To Go."  I guess they heard that I won the lottery.  Delete. 

 

"Don't Let Congress Industrialize Our Coastlines."  Oh my God.  ANYTHING but THAT.  Permenantly delete. 

 

Hmmm... about 618 "jokes."  All from my oldest daughters best friend, Deneen.  Aww!  She took the time to send them to me and about 350 other close Internet Friends.  While she was at work, no less.  Thank God she doesn't work for me.  Where does she find the time?  Maybe I should get a job where SHE works....  Delete 'em all at once... 

 

Oh!  Looks like a personal note from my slightly younger sister...  I haven't heard from her in a while.  Nope.  Just copies of the same jokes that Deneen sent to her as well.  Delete again.

 

"10 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Fresh".  Too bad I didn't get that one before my divorce.  Delete.

 

Uh-oh.  Looks like my "E-Bay Account has been suspended."  I didn't even know I HAD one. Delete.

 

Skip, skip, skip... "Erectile Dysfunction."  Now THAT's my kinda man!  Delete! 

 

%&*#@!  I swear to God, my head will spin around and I will have projectile vomiting if one more person sends me an E-mail warning that I will have bad luck for the next 5 years if I don't send it out to at least 5 friends in the next 18 minutes!  Why do people send me these things?  I don't have enough bad luck?  DELETE!  DELETE!  DELETE!

 

Well... that about does it.  I hate it when I let my unread mail pile up like that.

 

I wonder if there's anything in my "Spam Folder"?

My Menopausal Manifest

Hot flashes wouldn’t be so bad if you could conjure one up when you wanted one.  Like when you’re running outside on a cold winter morning to retrieve the newspaper off the front step. They would actually come in quite handy if you needed to de-ice your windshield.

 

If only we could funnel the heat into steam we could sterilize baby bottles, save thousands of dollars on dry cleaning, and maybe even steam clean the carpets a couple of times a year.   I wonder if the Pope would consider allowing hot flashes to burn off the sins of Catholic women?  Sort of like a pre-payment plan.

 

But alas, we must suffer with hot flashes seemingly at the whim of Mother Nature.  Never knowing when an assault will come.  I hate being helpless.

 

For any non-believers in the group, let me tell you that I recently conducted an experiment.  I took my temperature when I was NOT having a hot flash.  98.4… normal.  Then, a few minutes later, when I felt I was at the height of a hot flash, my temperature rose to 103.6!!  I had proof that hot flashes were actual physical manifestations.  It didn’t do me any good, but I felt better knowing that fact.

 

Why don’t menopausal women burn up thousands of calories a day manufacturing all of that heat?  We should be able to eat just about anything we want without gaining weight.  It would only be fair, don’t you think?  Good thing we can’t get pregnant.  We’d have that kid baked in two weeks flat.

 

At the very least I think menopause should be tax deductible.  Fans, air conditioning units and increased utility bills should be write offs.  Grandchildren should be considered dependants.  I don’t know a single grandparent who doesn’t spend more than their fair share on clothes, entertainment and schooling costs for their grandkids.

 

When I was younger I used to think that once my kids were grown, I’d spend all of my extra money on myself.  Exotic trips to Greece and Europe.  Face lifts when I needed one.  I thought I’d go to a Day Spa from time to time and pamper myself.  This year I took my 5 year old grandson to Disneyworld and paid his Catholic School tuition.  So much for my weekly massages.

 

Dare I mention how much money we end up tossing to our supposedly grown children?  And how many of us have to help out our elderly parents?

 

Is the entire world ignoring menopause?  What about Hollywood?  There are many famous Baby Boomers.  Now that Madonna is getting up there in age, why doesn’t she film a music video based on her REAL fantasies?  One where 10 Boy Toys dance around fanning her furiously with large palm branches?  I don’t think Martha Stewart has done a single show suggesting how hot flashes could be put to use around the kitchen.  “Forgot to take the meat out of the freezer before you went to work this morning?  No problem!  Simply defrost your pork chops on your lap while you drive home tonight!”  I’m surprised that AOL hasn’t advertised “10 Great Hair Styles That Won’t Flop When You’re Flashing!”  Or, “Not In The Mood?  7 Ways To Distract Your Man!”

 

Sometimes I think I’m becoming obsessed with hot flashes.  I find myself wondering if comatose women get them.  I question what would happen to a very sick woman with a fever of 104 degrees if she were to get a hot flash.  Would she spontaneously combust?  Were the survivors of the Titanic all middle aged women and those who were fortunate enough to be floating next to one? 

 

It boggles my mind when I think of the many elderly women who have decided to retire to Florida or Arizona.  Perhaps years of suffering finally leave you absolutely insane.  I can only pray that burnt brain cells eventually leave you without pain. 

 

If men had to suffer through this dismal phase of life, I guarantee there would be a cure by now.  At least they would actively be working on one.  What happens to them?  A sudden urge to drive a Harley.  An affair with a twenty something.  A new convertible.

 

Good grief.