Thursday, June 2, 2005

My 50th Birthday

Fifty years.  My God!  Where did the time go?  When I was a little girl the days seemed so long.  Now, they go by in the blink of an eye.  Most of the time I’m too busy to even notice.  Fifty years.  A half of a century.  When do I get my gold watch?
So what has changed in my life?  I am a bigger person than I used to be.  At least four sizes and 40 pounds bigger.  I don’t see things as clearly as I used to, but I’m not sure I want to. 
I've discovered that b
aseball caps, sunglasses and baggy clothes are Key to middle-age living.  I don’t even wear  as much make-up as I did before.
I am convinced that menopause is the devil’s curse.  Hot flashes, mood swings and forgetfulness are a part of my daily life.

Every now and then, I do think about exercising.  Usually after I run out of potato chips.
I hate climbing steps and I hate my boss.  Maybe not in that order though. It's frustrating to be the only one who knows just exactly how great I am.
I decided that I don’t like sex anymore.  It interferes with my TV watching and my nap time.
  I still have lustful urges, but now it's for cherry danish and ice cream. 
My kids are annoying.  They are at that age where they just won’t listen and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.  Those 'terrible late twenties'.  You would think that by now, they would have realized that I am almost always right.  About everything.  I wish I had someone like me to run to and ask advice.
The only person who truly realizes the degree of my greatness is my 3 year old grandson.  What a cuti-pie he is.  And smart, too.  There is nothing that he thinks I can’t do.  He tried to get me to climb a cyclone fence the other day, so we could walk down to the lake.
I started teaching my grandson the important things in life.  Things he can remember me by.  Like squirting whip cream into your mouth right out of the can and collecting seashells on the beach.

I used to put money aside to save up for a face lift.  Now I'm going to use that money to take Brandon to Disneyworld.


I finally have my priorities in order. 

                                           My parents, Geri and Ray.


                  At age 16, I ran away to Elkton, Maryland to get married.

                                  We had three kids by the time I was 22.

                                   Soon after our third child was born,
                                we built our first house in New Jersey.

                           I became a Licensed Practical Nurse in 1983.

                                                 My husband graduated
                                 from the State Police Academy in 1984.

                                         I graduated from college in 1988
                                          and became a Registered Nurse.
                              I only wish my Dad could have lived to see it.

                                     We built out 'dream house' in 1997.

                    We took our last family vacation in 1998 to Hawaii.
                 In 1999 I filed for a divorce and we sold the house.

                                 On April 7, 2002 my grandson Brandon
                                         was born to my daughter, Tina.

                        Preview   Preview
                      My son Joe married his wife, Bonnie in June of 2002.

                           I went on to become a Nursing Supervisor.

                        Preview   Preview
                                       When my 'Mid-Life Crisis' hit,
                              I tried skydiving and Stand-Up Comedy.

                               My guy Ray and I met On-Line in August 2002.

                                              Now, I live with Lisa Jr, Tina,
                                           my "honorary daughter", Kathy,
                                               and my grandson, Brandon.

                                             And I'm happy and content
                                     being a mother and a grandmother.

                                                    Picture from Hometown
                                      On the ground and off the stage...
                       Wrinkled, saggy and wearing baggy clothes...

                        Out of shape, sweaty and totally exasperated...

                                     Tired, partially senile and broke...

                                              I've never been happier.

                                It just doesn't get any better than this!


                        So what's in store for me in the next 50 years?

                                         I can hardly wait to find out!


mogul486 said...

I gave you your gold watch and I STILL think that you are great! Love, Ray

cw2smom said...

Happy, Happy Birthday!  I had my 50th a year ago and I loved it!  The best is yet to come!  I am so glad to see that you are back among us and writing again.  Lisa

kymllr said...

I am so glad you wrote again :)I'm 54 ohhh my and I used to think 30 yr olds were OLD. Happy Birthday and GIANT HUGS-you are special ya know :) and for the last couple months let me tell ya you think 20's don't listen wait till their 30's-only mine are guys-36 and 32 listen huh ?whats that lollll although I am not necessarily enjoying but watching my 12 yr old granddaughter doing to Daddy(he has sole custody)  what he did to me and sweetly explained the other day you've only just begunnnnnn because you are 36 and STILL doing it to me--what do you mean you can't take anymore :)

derasta said...

I'm so happy to see you update! You are truly blessed...what a wonderful family you have.

mzgoochi said...

Now that was an awesome read! Loved the pics, especially the skydiving.

alphawoman1 said...

happy birthday and so good to read your post! Sounds like your life is pretty good and I hope the next 50 are as wonderful...(except for the divorce part).

justme30453 said...

Great for you!
I'm pushing 40 and a nursing administrator. I can so relate, and I hope you're as happy (overall) as you appear to be.'re only as old as you feel!


somenuttychic said...

Holy crap -- I missed your birthday! And it was a milestone birthday. Shame on me!!!


Happy Belated Birthday!!!

(I haven't read the entry yet, so will come back and comment on it later.)

jevanslink said...

Hope you had a huge cake with fifty candles!!!  Congrats -- sounds like you're having a great time.  Mrs. L

somenuttychic said...

I'm baaaaaack. :-) (And yes, this time, I read the whole entry.)

I'm doing lots of smiling today. I really enjoyed this entry and I'm glad to see you back. (Of course, you could have been back for months and I wouldn't have known because I pretty much stopped reading journals, and for the most part, writing in my own as often as I used to.)

Phenominal 50. Yup. That's you. :-D

somenuttychic said...

P.S. Awesome new pic!

somenuttychic said...

Just don't make us wait 50 years for another entry, okay?

Oh and by the way . . .

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Is anybody home? Your last entry was June. It's time for an update please. :-) Has the kitty dragged *your* brain under the porch, too.

If that's the case, no worries. I know of a really good car wash. ;-)  

alphawoman1 said...

I missed this entry! I need to get you on my blog line account. happy belated birthday and welcome to the club! Please come back full time. I miss you.

indigomilky said...

Yes, Just in case you started thinking that we all just stopped coming back...we haven't.  I have been checking in right along...It's nice to see all the other October posts.  Autumn does that for's inspiring.  All the best to you and yours.  I really have enjoyed your insight.

bosoxblue6993w said...

what next?    trust me ... you don't want to know

somenuttychic said...

::tapping fingers::  Ahem. We're waiting! Lisa, Where are yoooooooooooou??? :-D