Sunday, June 15, 2008

Bend over and say "Ahhh!"

Geeze! I see that’s it’s been awhile since I updated my Journal.  Even I’m wondering what I’ve been up to, so I stopped by to check.
Hmmmmmmmmm.  Have I met someone special? My own personal Prince Charming?  Wining and dining me?  Keeping me so busy that I don’t even have time to write anymore?  Possibly even proposed to me in the most romantic way and whisked me off to live happily ever after?  That would be a “no”.   Actually, I’ve pretty much thrown in the towel and stopped looking.  The only men who call me are now are bill collectors, but I am on a first name basis with a few of them.  None of them want to take “no” for an answer!  Call me wicked.
Have I sold the house and moved to somewhere more affordable and without the kids?  Nope.  Still struggling and arguing on a daily basis.
Looks like I’ve been working a lot.  Don’t see any promotions or raises listed though.
Undergone any medical procedures or plastic surgeries?  Unfortunately, the only one listed is my first colonoscopy a few weeks ago.  Happy 53rd birthday to me.  Not exactly the kind I had envisioned.  “Why Lisa! Your… butt!  It looks… fantastic!  Have you had a colonoscopy?  You have, haven’t you?!"  At least it proved that I’m not too old to get a man interested in getting my panties off again.  I woke up with him standing over me, smiling.  Then he bent down and whispered something I’ve been longing to hear.  “No polyps.”  Oh, come on.  A girl’s gotta start somewhere.  I was so proud of my colon that I hung my colonoscopy report on my refrigerator.  Actually, I’ve been seeing so much of my dentist that I almost felt like I was cheating on him with the proctologist. I did learn one thing. It’s not as bad when it’s the dentist saying, “Open wide”.
That reminds me of a story that I heard about a Texan oil baron who went to the dentist for a check-up. "I'm pleased to say your teeth are just fine," said the doctor. "I know," replied the Oilman, "but drill anyway. I feel lucky!"
I do have a bit of news that I just can't keep to myself any longer!  My son Joe and his wife Bonnie must have been so excited how cute their first baby turned out that they decided to have a second one!  My GRAND-DAUGHTER will be arriving in October!   
I'm going to try and update my Journal more often in the future.  I might even try my hand at embellishing.  Who would know?  Nah.  Somebody’s got to step up to the plate and show you that you’re life isn’t as boring as you thought.
And it looks like I’m a natural.


grofsand said...

Apparently your sense of humor is also in tip top shape!  You have a knack to impart smiles!

You are wealthier beyond your have your health, a beautiful family and a treasure chest of golden memories in your heart!

A "soulmate" and  jag would be..superfluous!

Have a marvelous day!
Marc :)

ksquester said...

The colonoscopy photo will make a nice Christmas card picture this year.  haaaaaaa   Anne