Thursday, December 4, 2003
Be afraid. Be... very afraid.
I have always loved trees, so it's been a pleasure living directly across the street from a park. But today was my first actual experience with raking leaves. Before today I thought of this as a 'fall tradition enjoyed by those lucky enough to live among trees.' I now realize that it's... a curse. It's not colorful fall foliage dancing merrily to the ground, signifying the end of one life cycle and a prelude to the next. Oh no. It's Mother Nature having a temper tantrum throwing millions of tree droppings to the ground, reminding us that our work is never done, and the better your harvest the higher the price will be at the end of the season. The Township where we live sends a truck out twice a year to vacuum up leaves that residents have raked into neat piles at their curbs, making it unnecessary to scoop them into plastic bags. No matter what else is going on in your life you have to take out time to go and rake up the leaves. It's not a task for anyone with an anger management problem. The leaves continue to fall as you rake them. Just as you clear one area a gust of wind blows your neighbors leaves over onto your property. Nor anyone with a Type A personality either. You could easily become so immersed in such a raking frenzy, that before you knew it you'd find yourself on the other side of the State, still raking. But... I found something in Ray's shed. A very powerful, electric... leaf blower. Once I got the hang of it, I was almost as powerful as Mother Nature herself. Able to whisk piles of leaves away in a split second, corralling them like a cowboy rounding up his cattle. I could even blow away dust and debris from the driveway! Maybe this magical and mystical tool has other uses?! I could open the hatch in my car and simply blow all the dust out the back instead of using the vacuum! The house! I could dust an entire room in seconds! Direct it all to the front door, into the driveway and back into the park where it probably came from in the first place! Yes! I will finally be... the master of my domain! I am like a Super Hero just coming out of a telephone booth. Be afraid dirt. Be... very afraid.