The frame of our new front porch is finished. It looks magnificent! Although I have absolutely no sense of balance I climbed up onto the wooden beams last night, so I could remember what it feels like to have a front porch. I haven't had one since I was a little girl. My son Joe says that my porch doesn't really qualify as a porch because it won't have a roof over top of it. He says it's actually more of a... deck. Did I ever tell that kid that the Santa whose lap he eagerly climbed onto every year at the local mall when he was a little boy was really an unemployed transvestite looking to earn a little beer money? I think not. Well... whatever it is... it's mine and I'm calling it a porch. I don't need a roof. I guess it would be nice to sit out there during a rainstorm and not get wet. Or sit in the shade sipping ice tea on a hot summer day. And I suppose that I won't like shoveling the porch off after a snow storm or sweeping up the accumulation of leaves every week in the fall. But if we decided that we wanted a roof on the porch we would definitely need to apply for a variance from the township. Besides... the new shingles wouldn't match the old ones and it would cost a lot more money to build it. Since we're being so honest here, I have to admit that I can't even find the time to bring in the newspaper let alone sit out on the porch sipping ice tea or watching it rain. Oh, I'd love to be able to say that I would be doing things like that... but I wouldn't. If it snows all I need is a trail wide enough to make it out to the car and back to the house. And now that I can handle a leaf blower like a cattle rustler, a few piles of leaves every week don't scare ME. Like I said... I don't need a roof. I am going to be thrilled to death with my new front porch just the way we designed it. Once the township sends someone out on Monday to inspect the frame, Joe says that the porch will be finished by the end of the week. This will be my best Christmas present ever! I might even leave old Santa a beer and a pair of pantyhose out on the porch! Ho-ho-ho!