Saturday, December 6, 2003

All I want for Christmas....

'Todd' kept me waiting in the zoning office for 20 minutes when I went to see him.   He was busy denying someone else's permit, no doubt. Suddenly... there he was.  The man who had occupied most of my thoughts for the past 2 months.  He didn't look evil.  In fact, he was hardly more than a boy.  Probably half my age.  But he held the future of my front porch in his hands.  I didn't know whether to kiss his ring or smack his little face.  He told me that if I was planning on "just replacing the rotted wood from the old porch, and using the pre-existing footers", then he would approve the plans.  I was stunned.  Why couldn't he have done this for me 2 months ago?  I didn't feel guilty lying to him, because if his office had given the previous owners of Ray's house HALF the trouble they gave ME, then their old porch never would have been approved in the first place.  Actually, there are no pre-existing footers.  That's one of the reasons the porch was collapsing.  So I looked right into his baby blues and without ANY trace of hesitation I told him the lie he forced me to tell.  'Todd' approved my plans, and I almost danced down the hall to the next office where I now had to get approval from THEM.  The lady behind the counter assured me that HER office would approve the plans by Wednesday.  Then my son could start to build it.  Of course I'm not waiting until Wednesdy.  We have to get those cement footers into the ground before it freezes, and it's supposed to be warm all next week, despite this weather that we're having right now.  Ray's flight to Utah was canceled and he decided not to go skiing after all.  So we are going to tackle that bedroom.  It's completely filled with stuff... his, mine and ours.  Not to mention his ex's, my ex's, his ex's father's, my kids, the previous owner's...  But I now have a plan.  If we aren't going to use it REGULARLY, if it would cost us money to replace it if we didn't have it, if it doesn't make our lives easier or happier in some way, THEN OUT IT GOES.  I was going to do this while Ray was away... but I'll just have to do it with him here now.  Ray is no match for me.  Afterall... I had three kids!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Add iron oxide (gives old brown rusty look) to the cement. Use a lot of golf ball sized rocks and do a half-ass job. Make sure your forms are hand built out of old boards. They leave an old pattern on the outside of the cement. That's what we do to imitate "old" cement laid years ago.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry for laughing but I did. It's funny when you're reading and not living the situation. I love the last two lines. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Good for you lying to todd and the last line made me laugh too.

Anonymous said...

OMG! THE WOMAN IS GOING TO GET A PORCH!!! Hang on a minute, I feel faint. Great commentary about Todd (wanting to kiss his ring vs. smack his babyface cheeks) and of course, I really like your decluttering theory. You know, if you're not happy in your current job, perhaps you could make a career out of being a de-cluttering specialist for those who just can't seem to "let go" on their own. I'm serious. :-)