Another Father's Day.
I wish my Dad were still here.
So I could send him a funny card. Give him another shirt.
Or take him out to dinner at a really great restaurant.
I know he would spend most of the day golfing.
It's odd that my Dad loved that game.
He just wasn't the country club sort.
He went to a public course with a beat up set of used clubs,
a pair of sneakers, and sporting a tweed derby.
I know he never, ever played under par,
but he loved the game just the same.
He was much older than all of my friends' Dads.
I never realized that until I was in the eighth grade.
A classmate asked me if "that old guy" was my father,
and when I looked at all the other Dads,
I realized he WAS… old.
He was 47 when I was born,
but there were 5 more to come after me.
My youngest sister was born when he was 60 years old
and my Mom was 40.
When I was a little girl we didn't have much money.
There were many Father's Days when my sister and I
had no way of getting my Dad a gift.
We'd look through his bureau for a pair of socks
that had no holes, then carefully wash and dry them.
Then we would iron them so they'd be flat and have a crease,
and finally spray them with hairspray and cologne
so they'd be 'crisp' and smell 'new'.
He would always act so surprised when he opened gifts like that,
and he'd smile and rave
about how wonderful he thought the present was.
He never let on that he knew
it was just a pair of socks we had taken out of his drawer.
He made us feel special on the day that was supposed to be his.
It's been 16 years now since he died,
but he's still as vivid in my memories and my heart
as he always was.
Hardly a day passes by
when I don't remember something he said or did.
I never make a cup of coffee or pass by Dunkin' Donuts
without thinking of him.
He loved jelly donuts.
I can see him trimming the Christmas tree,
shoveling coal into the heater,
or walking the floor with one of my teething or colicky babies.
I don't think he ever told me that he loved me… but he didn't have to.
He showed me every day.
I miss him so much.
Happy Father's Day, Dad.
I love you.