My hormones are running amuck. I'm either having multiple hot flashes a day, or some of my memories are so vivid I'm re-living past summers. The ones when I didn't have air conditioning. I feel like an adolescent. I keep looking in the mirror to see if my body has changed any since yesterday. Like a teenager I'm giddy one moment and sullen the next. I feel like no one understands me. I think I'm too fat and I hate my hair. There are moments when all I want to do is run up to my room and slam the door. Now that I'm old enough to stay up and party all night, I'm too tired to do it. Why am I still breaking out? Isn't there a rule that once you start getting wrinkles, you never, ever break out again? It should be a one or the other law. My beauty secret is mixing Clearasil and Oil of Olay together in equal parts. I went to the Eckerd Drug Store on Saturday to look for some remedies. Walking up and down the aisles made me feel even worse. Were they kidding? Why does cellulite cream come in such small bottles? It should be available in vats. 'Thigh Firming Cream'. Guaranteed to work. I wonder if I can rub it all over my body? Make everything firm. I got two bottles of that. Thank God I have a job. It's going to cost me a fortune just to look like I did. I may need to take out a loan. I went to Victoria's Secret to get something sexy for Valentine's Day. Hmmm. Maybe if it was really dark, I hid Ray's glasses, we drank a lot of wine and I told him to close his eyes until I was all the way under the blankets I could get away with wearing a teddy and thong. It would be easier to just have a headache. Then I checked out their 'Wonder Bra.' The sales lady didn't think I needed one. She suggested one called 'The Miracle Bra.' It's the one you wear before you go into their 'Last Rites' line. I'm really starting to feel old. I guess I must have felt young once, or I wouldn't know the difference. I don't remember. I think my memory is going, too. I'm not sure. What was the question?