Tuesday, February 17, 2004
My Destiny Part I
This is no schoolgirl crush. It's not an infatuation or even an affair. It's a lifelong commitment. X-rated, down and dirty. Through thick and thin till death do us part. It's who I am, and who I'll always be. I'm thinking about changing my last name to ... Chocolate. I realize the severity of my addiction. I've tried to give it up a few times but I always come back. I know it's no good for me but I don't care. My idea of foraging for food is peeling the tin foil from the individually wrapped pieces of Rolos. Exercise? Sustained and vigorous chewing of Tootsie Rolls. Dieting? A restriction on the amount of chocolate you eat each day. I know there are other food groups. Their purpose is to keep you alive so you can eat more chocolate. Challenged in some way? There are sugar free, nut free and dairy free chocolates. There is even religious chocolate; Kosher and GODiva. If chocolate was available in the Garden of Eden do you think Eve would have gone for the apple? Chocolate has medicinal purposes. It calms the beast like symptoms of PMS and can help heal a broken heart. Through out history chocolate has been there. What do you think Napoleon had hidden under his coat? A chocolate bar no doubt. When Marie Antoinette shouted, "Let them eat cake!", she meant chocolate cake. When Gloria Swanson said,"Alright Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close up.", it was because she had just finished licking the last traces of a chocolate truffle from her finger tips and was ready to resume filming. There is no event or situation that isn't improved in some way by chocolate. What did American GI's use to attract women during the great wars? Chocolate and silk stockings. Odd combination? Not really. The nicer your legs looked the better chance you had of getting more chocolate. And chocolate is for everybody, no matter what your age, sex, religion, location, nationality, sexual affiliation or income. And it's totally legal and readily available. Your first taste was probably from your parents. Would your own mother give you something that wasn't good?