Friday, January 9, 2004
I now know there are aliens out there. I always thought that someday someone would offer proof, but I never thought that someone would be me. Or that I'd find that proof in my driveway. Ever since I moved in with Ray I noticed that there were hundreds of little spiked balls laying all over his front lawn. Ugly, brown, dried up crispy things that are dangerous and annoying. If you step on one accidentally they roll and cause you to lose your footing, and even frenzied stomping will not crush them. The spikes will cling to any material they come in contact with. They especially like socks, slippers, sneakers and bottoms of jeans. Once attached, they are extremely difficult and painful to remove. They have no natural enemies, and they don't seem to decay. Animals won't eat them, even the squirrels won't touch them. No matter how many times you sweep them up there are always hundreds more in the morning. I originally thought that they fell from some kind of tree but there are no leaves on the trees in New Jersey now, and there are still hundreds of these spiky balls strewn around. And... the balls look the same no matter what season it is. I've never seen such peculiar balls in my entire life and I've walked in woods before and been in my share of Nurseries. I am even renowned in one of my old neighborhoods for my gardening techniques, but that's another story. I think that maybe that 'weather station' across the street from my house really ISN'T a weather station afterall. It could be an Alien Sighting Monitor. That's why the authorities were out within minutes investigating who planted those shrubs in front of the equipment this past summer. We were on camera! The government needed a clear view of the alien crapping ground, which just happened to be my front lawn and driveway. Things are beginning to make a little more sense now. Don't you think?