Monday, January 26, 2004

Behind Enemy Lines

Shortly after I separated from my ex-husband I got a lawyer and filed for a divorce.  Our 27 plus years of marriage were now written out on paper; sectioned, claused and neatly paragraphed.  Then they were scrutinized, itemized, notarized, and anything but finalized.  There were Interrogatories to be filled out by each of us, two inches thick.  I don't know who did more fighting, the lawyers or us.  But at least we could fight for free.  They charged $250 an hour.  Like mighty Generals, our lawyers led us into battle, barking out 'Orders' from their mahogany desks in memos, letters, faxes, and phone calls.  My husband and I engaged in fierce combat and espionage behind enemy lines.  He took my Chevy Blazer (which had already been paid off) right out of my apartment parking lot, and left me the Chevy Beretta (which still had three years left to be paid on the loan).  I took what money I felt I was entitled to out of our joint bank account, before he thought of doing it.  Then he had all of our assets frozen, and I called a Realtor and put our house up for sale.  He changed the message on our answering machine. I put in a Change of Address and had all our mail delivered to my apartment.  He took all of the things that he knew I wanted, and hid them in a storage facility.  I snuck into the house, and cut off the pant legs of his brand new suit and then hung it back up in the closet. 
He threatened to give my Stray Sock Basket to his mother.  There was no end to the ingenious ways we could get even with each other.  And the lawyers sat back, sending out monthly, itemized bills. We soon realized that if this kept up, we wouldn't have any money left to fight over.  So we agreed to agree.  Fourteen months after I filed, we were finally...divorced.  (cont’ tomorrow)

11 comments:

gbgoglo said...

As you write this, and looking back, can you appreciate the humor from your divorce as we do? LOL! I think its GREAT! Can't wait for tomorrow's entry...

mlrhjeh said...

Glad you came to an agreement. In The War Of The Roses...No one wins.
I loved the cutting off of his suit pasnts. I'll file that one away and pass it on to friends!
I wish you the best.
Mary Louise


Journal address
http://edit.journals.aol.com/mlrhjeh/WatchingMySisterDisappear

readmereadyou said...

Isn't is so sad how two people who once fell in love can arrive at this place? The pain is so bad inside that all we mere humans can do is fight over material things and look for revenge when in reality all we want to do is cry and have someone make it better.

babygsmommy said...

Whew! How true! I think my heart rate is up reading that one..How does it ever come to that? Can't wait till tomorrow's entry! Take care, Heather

karensull12 said...

Oh my goodness. It must have taken you years to recover from this...

redhdka said...

You are a fantastic writer! Your journal went up like 1000 points since this morning. I love the part about cutting up his suit. Ha ha ha I gotta do something like that.

bridgetteleigh75 said...

Did you all REALLY do all these things to each other? LOL I would have loved to see the look on your husband's face when he saw the pant legs cut out of his suit. =)

XO ~ Bridgett

johnanddebih said...

Just curious if Ray reads your Journal. Wonder what your ex would say if he read your Journal? Has either of them commented in your Journal?

ckays1967 said...

I know that this is sad...but I can't stop laughing. I wonder if he WORE the suit just like a little boy?

bsweetmemories said...

honey,
i am reading this with a mixture of sweet sorrow and laughter! At this moment i am watching all my money got to the lawyer, and for me it wasnt a sock basket, it was a picnic basket he bought for me, but i used it to store his shot gun shells! couldnt believe he had a fit and wanted it back!

shellbeal27 said...

well i have to say i wish i had you for a friend when i went through my divorce .but truthfully mine didnt have a chance.. the house we lived in was my fathers.. and i told him he could fight me for it. IF he wanted to live next door to my parents.. lol... he gave me all he wanted. .gee i think he was afraid of me... i love the way you laugh it off.... reminds me of .. well me.. laughing things off is the only way to get through life sane.. you go girlie